It’s another video with me and Kate. It’s full of those quirky awkward moments and my random train of thoughts. My camera is a bit messed so when I was editing this, I was missing some of the footage from the camera going crazy. Peace, love and Tennis. Enjoy!

Well, this is a random video where I talk about nothing in particular. I wanted a pumpkin spice latte. If I want, I go and get. I’m pretty sure this video will make absolutely no sense to most of you but I hope you enjoy anyways. Also, sorry that the video is very dark at some points.

Love and Tennis… <3.

I would like to introduce to you my bestfriends. Skyy and Jameson. These to friends I can pretty much say whatever I want to them and not feel a shred of negative judgement or hatred. While I’m not complete intoxicated I would like to take this time and write. Thank you for listening to me… I know that not everyoen is as lucky as I am when it comes to people who will listen. I check my google stats often and I’m always surprised to find that they’re are a lot of people who want to listen to what I have to say. I’m not sure why sometimes though.

I can write a million words but all of them are only hear say. I can honestly admit that I’m not sure what life and love is all about. What is the point really right? I can write with a ton of really big words to describe the feeling but all of it is irrelevant because each and every individual experiences this in their own way. All I can say is don’t be afraid… because life is all about overcoming those fears. Love is about overcoming that fear.

It’s not like you all haven’t noticed that I’m afraid of the unknown. You could be afraid of what could’ve been or what is reality. Truth of the matter is you shouldn’t be. Life will always throw you curve balls and it is up to you to compensate. I can’t be the one to preach these words because I am always full of doubt and fear. That’s where you should learn from me because those emotions will get you nowhere. As they say, life is what you make of it and if you live life thinking about possibilities you aren’t truly living.

I think I know what I am doing all the time when in reality I’m about as clueless as the majority. In fact I’m as cliche as the next person. I seek attention and glory but I will always me missing that piece of the puzzle. At least for the time being. Don’t waste your life away thinking about possibilities, go after what you want… if you fail then fine, go after something else. Don’t let that fear get to you.

I seek love and hopefully I will find it but my fear of actually finding that love is what holds me back. I can be as assertive as the next person but love is still somewhat of a mystery to me. “I LOVE YOU”, “I LOVE YOU”, “I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART”. Describe those words to me please. I feel like I don’t know it’s true meaning. Fuck me if I ever find out but I just want to hear those words said to me again. No more false feelings; emotions that mean something.

That’s enough… before the drink takes it’s toll, I love anyone who’s willing to read what I write. Take a chance and don’t let it scare you.

So originally, I did a lot of editing to this video but then I thought to myself… why? I decided then I should just leave the video in most of it’s raw form. I had a hilarious time in Toronto with Kate. I really wish I could have filmed in the record store because it was pretty cool. I bought “Blueprint 3″ on vinyl and had trouble finding anything else. Luckily Kate is not too shabby at sifting through records to find the goods. This video is quite random and long but hopefully you’ll enjoy it. There was 30 mins of us dancing in the car but majority of it was too dark.

P.S. I will post a new MiniMix featuring the records I bought. Hollah. Love and Tennis…

So here it is… I haven’t spoken about matters of the heart in a long while but I feel tonight is as good of time as any. Ask yourself this question… “What would I do for love?”. I’m asking myself and my only answer is… well I don’t have one. It just confuses me. When it comes to matters of the heart I tend to stay guarded and stuck in my shell. To me, the worst pain is getting heartbroken.

I can say there are probably a million or more ways that my heart can be broken but there is that “magic number”; 1,000,001, that will absolutely destroy me. That number is what scares me more than anything. It hasn’t happened to me yet but I’m scared of facing that number. That number can be different depending on that person but that thought is scary for any person. I want to love a girl and have her love me back in a way that could only exist in the movies and fairy tales. My naive heart knows it exists but I’m unsure if I can attain it.

I suppose that’s where my problem lies… I’m so scared of this “magic number” that I won’t put my heart on the line. I refuse to. There have been so many times I wanted to just straight up tell the girl that I have feelings for her but I am so afraid of being hurt that I shy away. It’s a big mental block that I don’t know how to climb. I want to kiss a girl and really mean it. I want to say I love you to a girl and really mean it. I just want to make mistakes and realize it later but I can’t because I don’t want to be hurt. WHY…. WHY… WHY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE WAY I THINK? WHY AM I ALWAYS FUCKING AFRAID OF BEING HURT?

I am by no means a stereo-typical guy. I do not feel the need to fuel my ego and I do not feel the need to beat my chest to show the world my superiority. It’s all irrelevant. I will admit that I cried when Dumbledore died. I will admit that I cried when Celtic lost the league to Rangers. I am a cry-baby period. Is it “manly”? No… probably not but I can’t help but feel that, if I was a stereo-typical guy I would married right now and maybe even happy. Who knows right? I can only speculate since I don’t fit that “normal” mold.

There are so many talents I am blessed with and a graceful tongue is not one of those traits. Getting tongue tied, awkward conversations, stuttering and general stupidity is what I am known for and that will never change. They say, “the scorpion on your back will always sting you”. You can’t change the way you truly are. I, at least, need to try.

Cowardice is my strongest trait… and matters of the heart will scare and hurt me more than anything that can physically exist in front of me. If I am to totally experience life and love the way it was meant to be then I need to work at not being scared. I need to, for example, ask that girl out for dinner and wear my heart for the world to see. The task is so daunting to be honest… I wish there were signs to make that task much easier…

I think I need to sleep. Too much rum is probably bad for me. I also hate Ninja Gaiden 2.

Alright, I know how lame and awkward I am. I can’t help it that’s just how I do gangstahhhhh! If you have never met me in real life and you’re wondering if I am that awkward in person, the answer is a resounding yes! Ok so, here is some of the info for my oldies profile on Duke Nukem:

-3D Realms’ page on Duke Nukem
-Duke Nukem 1 footage

I will post another video again. Sorry Steve Coleman, I already shot this video before I could incorporate your suggestions.

Ah yes… Sunday nights. I don’t tend to do much but I love these days because they are so relaxing. Watching HSM, spinning tunes and just straight up gettin’ down. I will eventually do another “Oldies Profile”. I just have a lot of work to do so finding time to play these old games is a little hard. I have, however, been playing newer games. I went and bought The Sims 3 and I’m still trying to figure out why.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this mini video. One last thing before I go; don’t mix Jack and Sprite. It really sucks!

Yes, Indeed… There are people stranger than me in this world. My friend Emily happens to be one of the more stranger ones. There was over 30 minutes of raw footage. It was quite entertaining for me to watch her perform various RENT and HSM songs. Yes, it’s very adorable and no, I will not hook you up with her.

I don’t know what it is about this girl. But I am simply very attracted to her. I love her voice and the way she speaks. It’s almost like listening to music but not quite. I don’t understand a word of Spanish but I will definitely start trying to learn it now… Beautiful.

Not the last get together with my friends but the last get together at my current place of living. I am moving to a new place at the end of September. Just thought I’d film a vid with all my friends hangin’. Sorry about the shaky cam and my annoying laugh. I love these guys, what can I say?